25 JOKES ON MARRIAGE AND REALTIONSHIP

  1. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
  2. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
  3. My Wife Says I Never Listen, Or Something Like That...
  4. When I married MR. RIGHT, I didn't know his first name was ALWAYS!
  5. Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
  6. Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was damned near impossible.
  7. Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.
  8. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  9. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
  10. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
  11. Words to live by - do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
  12. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
  13. Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two!
  14. The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.
  15. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. the rest cheat in Europe.
  16. Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding.
  17. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  18. We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.
  19. Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn't want to wake the children?
  20. Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.
  21. You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on wednesday nights, and so does she.
  22. The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it."
  23. If you want a committed man look in a mental hospital.
  24. Our marriage was a love match. plain and simple, she was plain and I was simple!
  25. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  26. He met her in a revolving door and has been going around with her ever since.
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